Dot dot dot

I saw I was leaving a lot of those in my titles on accident so I decided to make fun of myself a little.

Today was hard, not going to lie. The food poisoning from the stupid fish hasn't quite gone away yet (either that or I have a bug) and it's taking a toll on the energy and motivation I have. This thing is hard enough without something fighting my body on the sidelines too.

I was about ready to stay home and call it quits. I was in tears because of life stress and body stress and stressing about this new diet - and then I decided this was the time I needed to go to the gym most.

I've decided the gym has to become my new comfort food. Even if I don't go to work out, I need to bring a book and just sit down in the nice little waiting area they have there and just surround myself in the atmosphere because if I don't, I'm going to lose my momentum.

Anyways, I did go to the gym today. I powered through lower body workouts - all up until the calf machine and I had to stand and wait for some girl to finish up. She kept pausing to watch the TV and stare at her phone to text and I was just standing there like - hey! That weight you got on that machine is impressive, but I'll be even more impressed if you get off your phone and let me work!

She finally moved. Yesssssss.

I was supposed to do a longer, less strenuous run, but I'm starting to find out that the treadmill is REALLY not good for my knees. I ended up power walking for a half an hour. Not as good as I'd hoped, but it's still SOMETHING.

Eating is turning out to be the hardest thing for me. Remembering to eat and then having my food still unprepared in general is driving me nuts. I've been making attempts to start my meals, but I get home these days around 7-8pm and I have to be in bed at nine to make sure that when I get up at five? I'm good for work the next morning. I'm going to try my best this week, but I don't think my legit eating cycle will be able to start until this weekend, when I have two days to prep and ready myself for the following week. I have to start eating what I have though, so we'll work on partially being awesome!

So I told you yesterday that I'd make a list of wants from this lifestyle change. I'm trying to stay motivated and so far, EVERY single one of you have been absolutely amazing about it. I love it when you talk to me like this change is something that's for SURE going to happen. Your faith in me gives me faith in myself.

1. I want to be happier and have more direction in my life.

2. I want to lose weight (duh)

3. I WANT TO GET A BRAND NEW WARDROBE (if anyone wants to conditionally donate this based on my success I'm totally up for grand prizes ;P )

4. I want nice arms.

Those are the solid ones I have so far. I guess another one would be I WANT THIS TO BE EASIER but the only way for it to be easy is to get through the hard stuff. Sigh.

Anyways, maybe I'll think of more later.

Thank you for your continuous support.

You are all incredible inspirations to me.